Pauline Paradise is retiring from her job as a lollipop lady. The head teacher presents her with a tea cup, secateurs and a hammock and tells the children: "When grandparents retire, they suddenly become obsessed with gardening.
"Mrs Paradise can string up the hammock between two sturdy oaks and just go to sleep."
With a huge family of children and grandchildren, a glum husband and a demented father to look after, Pauline doesn't get a moment to herself.
But it is another retirement gift, from a widowed teacher – a book of Dylan Thomas poems – which convince her that she should not "go gentle into that good night".
This is the premise of ITV's new comedy drama Love and Marriage (ITV1, Wednesday) with the brilliant Alison Steadman as harassed matriarch Pauline.
Everyone takes advantage of Pauline. Son Kevin (Stewart Wright) is always asking for handouts and loans from the bank of mum and dad.
Daughter Heather is constantly using her as a shoulder to cry on as she tries to conceive with husband Charlie.
Her husband, dubbed Silent Ken (Duncan Preston) expects meals on the table and no emotional demands and her dad (David Ryall excellent again after The Village) needs constant reassurance as dementia tightens its grip.
The only one not tugging at her apron strings (yet) appears to be son Martin (Graeme Hawley) who has his hands full with four children.
Pauline is called upon to cater for every occasion, run errands and be on the end of a phone.
She's being taken for granted big time, in a situation which will seem familiar to many women in her situation.
Looking wistfully at the joy-filled, sexually satisfying life of her sister, Rowan (Celia Imrie) who is having an affair with married man Tommy (Larry Lamb), Pauline realises it can't go on.
When her dad dies, the family return home after the wake expecting a full buffet. Instead Pauline has packed her bags and is off.
Love and Marriage started with a lot of promise – not least the cast: Steadman and Lamb reunited after Gavin & Stacey, the dependable David Ryall (Outnumbered), Celia Imrie and Duncan Preston (Dinnerladies).
It also had a lot of potential for drama. The script is by Stewart Harcourt (Hearts and Bones and Jericho) and director Debbie Isitt comes to TV after films Confetti and Nativity.
Disappointingly, it soon veered off into cliche – Heather suspects her husband is having an affair, Kevin is hiding from his wife Sarah (Ashley Jensen) the fact that he is losing his job and he steals from the community centre bar.
The opening episode of a series is a difficult one. You have to establish characters, create an environment and convince the viewer to tune in again.
Sadly, I won't be.
For Mad Dogs, (Sky 1, Tuesday) it's easier. This is the third series and we already know what a mess middle age mates Rick, Woody, Baxter and Quinn can get in to.
It opens with a bang. We're in the desert somewhere and the guys are in Guantanamo Bay-style orange jump suits, in chains and cages.
Someone wants information from them. Sadly it's information they don't have. After being tortured and shot at (by the CIA) they are spirited out of the country and land in South Africa, where they are given new identities and told they must never meet up again.
It's all ridiculous, highly improbable lark-about stuff, but invested with the talents of four seriously good actors – Max Beesley, Philip Glenister, Marc Warren and John Simm – it's better than it should be. The scene where the men have one last call home was particularly effective. I think we're in for a rollercoaster ride.